The Luddite’s Guide to Grand Theft Auto

Juggler juggling

Juggler juggling

Raise a family and juggle like this… that’s a hell of a bunch of stuff to keep in the air…

 Want to try my game? I’m playing the comically summarizing getting married game. The couple survives the decade’s long ordeal of raising kids. Then, they devote what is left to their lives beguiled by some post-parental mirage that leads them into the realm of self-rediscovery.

This is the era when they start doing their own thing. It’s a return to the all about me phase, but with a twist, it really never will be all about them.

They take yoga and study meditation. They learn not just about ego, but about how form is emptiness, and emptiness is form. That there is no-self, and that everything is a delusion. They have a lot to learn.

Now, we revise, polish, memorize, test, cut, punch up, and try in front of an audience again. I have to isolate the stage instincts I have from the hard cold blueprint I am presenting. Am I having an off night? Is the material connecting? Not all the new material does, knowing where to cut, where to revise is a key skill in the game of routine building.

This reads a little edgy, but then comedy does sometimes glance off the darker corners of the human experience…

For some reason your kid thinks everything you have in the world is actually all theirs. Everything in their bedroom, the car, all the food in the refrigerator, everything: it is all theirs. And the more expensive the stuff the more likely it’s theirs.

That’s right the blue ray, the flat screen, the Bose sound system, game console it’s all there’s. Why don’t you know that?

And of course your wife, the woman known to them as mom, is now the object of their attention, any of mom’s distractions are your fault and in case you don’t know when they are old enough to finally leave they’ll be taking their mom with them.

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“Veteran Vaudevillian puts down his torches, picks up a pen and delivers all the laughs and charm we know from his show.  Quirky, odd, fun… hijinks, heartbreak and sexual redemption. And it all happens in Nevada or as Dana would say:  ‘Lust in the dust’.   Give yourself a treat and go on a:  Hot Spring Honeymoon.”

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The Non-Fat Caffè Latte Love Show

Ohio State Fair

Ohio State Fair

It’s Good for Your Heart

Kate Hart and The Detroit Women

If one starts a career touring with the Royal Lichtenstein Quarter-Ring Sidewalk Circus why in the world wouldn’t you find yourself in the midst of producing, The Good to the Last Love-Non-Fat Caffè Latte Love Show… A soul nutting, spoonful of romance, low calorie, laugh riot comedy.

“You’ve suddenly found your inner Jacque Cousteau… you are now ready for the deepest dive of your life.”

“It’s the remake of The Hunt for Red October… the enemy Russian sub is you, and nobody can know that you want to surrender. The other sub is her, and she can’t be sure of your motives. Are you looking to a world with a future or are you here for a one night stand?”

“You’re not some indecisive, skirt chasing, hound fearful of commitment. No, you are a proud Russian officer. Your compatriots, the other men, are onto you. They know you want to surrender, and you must be stopped, before you defect and are given lifelong asylum- a marriage. Men the world over are aghast that you have given a woman a firsthand look at the super-secret run silent technology that only a man of your kind knows how to use.”

Hot Spring Honeymoon Front Cover

 

The comedy is available right here

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We loved it.  Upon deeper reflection, “Everyman” merges with “Everywoman”  to become “Everyone” in a small, dusty desert “Everytown”

 

Working the Script

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A breakthrough day. But, then only as far as knowing where I want to go. That doesn’t matter as much as memorizing and then testing the material in front of an audience to be sure they’ll go with me.

“A reviewer explained what she liked most about my latest book. She said it was all the funny sex…”

So, writing a novel is like like letting  your fingers get off on tapping little keys on a keyboard…”

Is that a funny idea? Maybe…

What really got clear today was the outline of the opening 20 minutes backbone, the story, the narrative.

I want to seduce my audience into the realm of thinking with me about relationships. Not to be too ambitious but I want them to think about how that might look like over a lifetime.

I think I’ve found enough places in that plan to punch out enough material to engage and pull them in.

I’ve got some good lines out of the first 10 minutes I’ve worked on, but have cut about 5 minutes and have come up with another 10 minutes.

I’ve got another 5 to come up with, plus I need to test the material, naturally I’ll lose some, then add another chunk, and do this for another 6 weeks and I should have a good script that I can then punch up to a fine polish.

The important piece is having the right structure. Still not quite ready to memorize, but close. I had hoped by this weekend I might but there are still too many lines that need to be honed further.

It isn’t prose, it isn’t poetry, it is the text of a comic who does a variety act. Sometimes there are jokes but more important is that I am taking the audience with me along on a journey.

And one last clue. The audience wants a journey they can believe in. Everyone has their style. My style is soul and kindness. If I go too negative, too edgy, my audience won’t buy that kind of act from me. It doesn’t ring true to their ear and doesn’t match what they see with their eye.

“Now, how does the world’s greatest lover stay on top of his game? By asking his partner to lie down on the bed first…”

It’s Saturday Night in Riviera Maya!
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Hot Spring Honeymoon
The Newest Novel Available Everywhere

“Move over Moliere. Smith’s depth and wisdom give the reader a surgically precise but comic look into the relationship between the sexes.”

Bat Show Audio…

Bats in the House

Welcome to the world of entertainment in the Riviera Maya. What we have here is a short clip from my show at Puerto Aventuras just south of Playa del Carmen. I’d just come on stage. I was perhaps 5 minutes into my opening monologue when a sizable bat with wingspan of a little over a foot to something less than a foot and a half winged on into the theater. What you can see is that behind me is a stage and curtain. After buzzing over the top of the audience the bat went up into the rafters behind me on the stage. I rushed over to the curtains and closed them and our bat was now confined backstage. It only took forty years for my performing bat to finally show up.

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“Move over Moliere. Smith’s depth and wisdom give the reader a surgically precise but comic look into the relationship between the sexes.”

 

Making Show

Book show blog pic

It is more than connubial bliss, more than your partner’s satisfaction. It is in fact more about your ability to overcome sleep deprivation.

The show went off like a Roman candle last night. I was able to proof the quality of the opening monologue one more time. This is not even the tenth time I’ve tested the material.

It was tangled up with my performance. I had to deliver. I had memorized and practiced for several hours yesterday. My plan was to try and go in and out of the new material with short improvised excursions with what was right before me in the room.

I was at Puerto Aventura a resort along the Riviera Maya, Mexico. The setting was a theater. It was a family audience. In my business this location is one of the best. Good lighting, good seating, the stage is set up correctly, and the sound is excellent.

I punched away with the new routine. What the new routine sets out to do is create a mythical explanation of how I arrived in Mexico, a short jabbing at the audience’s use of relationship to build their lives, a digression where the differences between an eligible bachelor and what I call a slacker dude are explored. Ultimately I draw my audience into the world of not just relationships, but of penultimate relationships… the revelation of the identity of the world’s greatest lover and of course naturally the world’s greatest lover’s lover. I try to pick extraordinary common people to play these parts in a show that tries to sneak up on my audience’s preconceived notions of what love and lover’s might look like.

Life is not based on any static position or point of view. Life is dynamic. There are no answers. There are experiences, and the experiences are what our imaginations thread together into what emerges as the story of our life.

The basic narrative is the story of deciding whether we will fall in love and explore the mystery of our hearts powers. What kind of relationship do we wish to form and with what kind of person? Some are certain they want to be in a relationship while others are quite sure they would rather remain single. Some want children others might focus on their careers. We begin this journey in our youth and we deal with these choices over a lifetime. How well we love and how complete our surrender to the mystery has much to say about the story of a person’s life.

There you have it. This is in essence what I am thinking about, what I am writing about in my novels, and what I am trying to make an entire show of on stage. Last night’s almost hour long performance suggests we are well on the path to what I call, The Book Show.